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crisis what crisis

Morning sports fans,

I am running late today due to doing a TV spot and computer issues so will make it short and sweet…I will leave all the budget commentary to the experts out there but the banks have breathed a sigh of relief and dodged a bullet I suspect…nothing really too exciting..fingers crossed from Joe on the budget crisis and let’s face it if we don’t call it a crisis then it isn’t one so all good!!!

The two big events out there are the NAB rights issue which is looking like brilliant timing and masterly executed…the stock held up really well yesterday and no doubt my idea of three divs worth 3 bucks in 13 months helped but all NAB shareholders should take up their rights…if you do not have enough money to buy them at $28.50 then you can sell some of your rights or shares on market to fund it…just let me know and I can help..

The other big issue looming is the imminent separation of BHP into Good BHP and Bad BHP otherwise known as South32…this is happening sooner rather than later and the last day is Friday and South 32 to start trading on Monday 18th…as a shareholder you do not have anything to do ..you can sit back and just watch events transpire but any weakness in the Souths price would be an opportunity to top up…

Few winners from the budget…retailers,tradies,childcare and accountants…Officeworks will be run off their feet as Chinese made lap tops race out the door!!!

I guess at least  the government will make the GST on all this largesse with small biz..

More tomorrow…so looking forward to Mad Max though..

And finally……

Two Irish builders (Patrick and Seamus) are seated either side of a table in a pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar.

The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit.

Patrick: – I reckon he’s an accountant.

Seamus: – No way – he’s a stockbroker.

Pat: – He ain’t no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn’t come in here!

The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Patrick and he makes for the toilet.

On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal.

Curiosity and the several beers get the better of him.

Patrick: – ‘Scuse me…. No offence meant, but me and me mate were

wondering what you do for a living?

Suit: – No offence taken! I’m a Logical Scientist by profession

Patrick: – Oh? What’s that then?

Suit: – I’ll try to explain by example ….. Do you have a goldfish at home?

Patrick: – Er … Mmm ……. Well yeah, I do as it happens!

Suit: – Well, it’s logical that you keep it either in a bowl or in a

pond. Which is it?

Patrick: – It’s in a pond!

Suit: – Well it’s reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then?

Patrick: – As it happens, yes I have got a big garden.

Suit: – Well then it’s logical to assume that, in this town, if you

have a large garden then you have a large house?

Patrick: – As it happens I’ve got a five bedroom house ……… Built it myself!

Suit: – Well given that you’ve built a five bedroom house it’s logical to assume that you haven’t built it just for yourself and that you are quite probably married? And with a family?

Patrick: – Yes I am married, I live with my wife and four children.

Suit: – Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active

with your wife on a regular basis?

Patrick: – Yep! Five times a week!

Suit: – Well then it is logical to suggest that you don’t masturbate very often?

Patrick: – Do what? Not me, mate!

Suit: – Well there you are! That’s logical science at work!

Patrick: – How’s that then?

Suit: – Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I’ve told you about your sex life!

Patrick: – I see! That’s pretty impressive.. Thanks mate!

Both leave the toilet and Patrick returns to his mate.

Seamus: – I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?

Patrick: – Yep! He’s a logical scientist!

Seamus: – What’s that then?

Patrick: – I’ll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?

Seamus: – Nope

Patrick: – Well then, you’re a w**ker

 Have a good day!!!

Clarence

XXXX

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