ASX 200 stages a staggering post lunch rally to close up (yes up) 235 points to 5539 after an early 7% plus fall. Incredible stuff, computers chips running hot as US futures turned positive with a 1000-point turnaround after word from Pelosi that there is a deal close on stimulus. Currently up 500. Once again market on close (MOC) orders pushed the market up an extra 100 points in the final match. The computer programs are in charge. Central banks pumped in money too into credit systems with the RBA dropping $8.8bn to grease some wheels. The government move to halt mass gatherings seems sensible and the GP was cancelled. Banks were the big turn round stories. CBA bottomed at 5716c before closing at 6636c in a stunning change of heart. WBC up 2.1% and NAB up 1.5% in similar moves. Miners were in the green with BHP up 1.5% and FMG which has sidestepped the volatility rose 13%. Defensives saw bargain hunters as CSL rose 11.9%, WOW up 6.7% and COL up 8.7%. TLS gained to up 6.4% and even energy stocks perked up with WPL up 9.8%. Travel stocks staged a Lazarus like recovery in late trade despite one after another coming out and throwing out guidance, FLT down 2.3%, CTD up 7.6% and WEB down 0.4%. Big rises off the lows for JBH up 8.6%, IEL up 11.6% and many others. The All Tech Index hit a low of 1371 before rallying to 1525 on the close. In corporate news, APT reassured investors on its funding position falling 2.7%. VAH has suspended its earnings guidance, and both NAB and MQG pulled their capital notes. No on the economic front, the RBA was busy though and ScoMo cancelled his Rugby League attendance this weekend. 10-year bond rates rallied to 0.92%, the AUD at 63.02c. Asian markets rallied too with Japan down 8.3% and China down 3.5%.

  • ASX 200 stages a huge rally off the lows to close up 235 points at 5539.
  • High 5539 Low 4874. Massive rally off lows. Huge volume. 700 point range.
  • For the week the index, has dropped 10.9%
  • Big Bank Basket bottomed at $106 at lunch. Closed at $121.69. Massive move.
  • Dow futures up 500.
  • 10-year bond yields rise to 0.92%.
  • AUD rises to 63.02c.
  • Aussie gold slips to $2502. Biggest weekly drop in 7 years.
  • Bitcoin crashes to US$5286. No hedge there either.
  • Asian markets hit with Japan down 8.3% and China down 3.5%.


  • COH +21.08% quality starting to rise.
  • FMG +12.97% Twiggy buying and iron ore price.
  • IEL +11.64% no travel ban as yet.
  • XRO +7.95% a viral stock.
  • WGX -13.25% GOR -8.29% gold miners smashed again.
  • PBH -7.34% no sports no bets.
  • ALC +9.09% change of director’s interest
  • Speculative stock of the day: Still no volume. Who needs speculative stocks when you have ASX 200 moves like we have seen?
  • Biggest Rises: VAH, COH, NWL, VEA, OSH, COE and FMG
  • Biggest Falls: PRU, TAL, VRL, URW, RMS and WGX.


  • Virgin Australia (VAH) +31.67% provides COVID-19 update; earning guidance suspended, group capacity reduction to increase from 3% to 6% in the second half of FY20 and increase to 7.7% by 1H21. Additional cost reduction measures include removal of management bonuses, no base salary increases for non-EA team members, and leave initiatives.
  • Crown Resorts (CWN) -1.56% appoints Alan McGregor as CFO.
  • NAB (NAB) – withdraws NAB Capital Notes 4 offer given ongoing market volatility.
  • Macquarie Group (MQG) – withdraws Capital Notes 2 offer.
  • Corporate Travel Management (CTD) +7.56% suspends FY20 guidance due to Covid-19; confirms it will still pay 18c dividend. Non-executive directors and the Managing Director will take a 20% reduction in their fees and fixed remuneration respectively for the remainder of this financial year.
  • Zip Co (Z1P) +1.45% Said it has not observed any material impact from the outbreak across its business, expecting continued demand in online purchases.
  • Flight Centre (FLT) -2.35% withdraws guidance, to close up to 100 underperforming stores. TTV trends generally in line with expectations in early 2H trading but virus’s spread & increased travel restrictions mean demand is softening significantly & timeframe for recovery is unclear.
  • Afterpay (APT) –2.68% The company has updated the market about its funding position. Over $1.09b of warehouse facilities in place with major financial institutions. Strong liquidity position of over $672.1m. Cash on balance sheet at $402.5m. APT says it is well prepared to respond to any changes in customer repayment behaviour, however it has not seen any changes relative to past performance. It is able to manage losses in real time by identifying them early and modifying risk parameters in the system immediately according to the company release.


  • The RBA has been injecting cash into credit markets. Around $8.8bn into short-term commercial bank funding.
  • Local market sources reported an evaporation of liquidity, heavy selling pressure, clogged dealer balance sheets and upward pressure on government bond yields



  • The Bank of Japan has offered to buy ¥200 billion ($3.03 billion) worth of bonds in an unscheduled operation this afternoon.
  • China has the blueprint to conquer corona. New cases only 8. Deaths 7.  Now pushes US conspiracy theory that the US army may have played a role in spreading the virus. Good to see we are going back to the détente between the two.
  • Philippines President Duterte announced that he’s placing the capital region of Manila in a lockdown for a month
  • Trump calls Abe. Talks about delaying Olympics a year.


  • JPMorgan Chase boss Jamie Dimon is home from hospital
  • PGA Tour said it was cancelling the Players Championship.
  • Nancy Pelosi said she’s near an agreement with the Trump administration on a plan to mitigate some of the economic blows from the coronavirus outbreak.
  • Mickey Mouse is taking a break. Sleeping Beauty is snoozing. Disneyland closes.
  • Belgium ordered the closure of all bars and restaurants and other leisure venues. No beer or mussels.Chocolate still available.
  • Arsenal soccer club manager Mikel Arteta has tested positive for the coronavirus

And finally…


Still a great joke…The sergeant-major growled at the young soldier, “I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning.” “Thank you very much, sir.”


While examining the the body of Mr. Schwartz, a mortician notices that Schwartz has the largest penis he has ever seen. “I’m sorry, Mr. Schwartz,” says the mortician, “But I can’t send you to be cremated with a tremendously huge penis like this. It has to be saved for posterity.” The mortician removes the penis, places it in a jar and puts the jar in his briefcase. When he gets home, he decides to show it to his wife. “I have something to show you that you won’t believe,” he says, removing the jar from his briefcase. “Oh my God!” she screams, “Schwartz is dead!”


Send more jokes its been a tough week..




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