Today’s Headlines

• ASX 200 up 28 points to 5789
• High 5806 Low 5769.
• Banks find redemption. Consumer staples in baskets.
• Miners under pressure. Energy boosted.
• TLS flops and CSL flies.
• ACCC recommends breaking up NBN.
• AUD steady at 76.94c
• Bitcoin slides to US$6800.
• US futures up 100.
• Asian markets firm with Japan up 1.76%, Korea up 1.3%. China closed.

STOCK STUFF

Movers and Shakers

• BLA -33.65% hit again by more secrecy and opaque briefings.
• NVT -3.85% Uni partnerships grow 6%
• CLQ -2.54% SPP weighing.
• RMD -2.08% profit taking.
• APT +2.65% bargain hunting pounce.
• FMG -3.21% broker downgrades
• WTC +5.19% bouncing hard.
• ORE -9.54% downgrades production guidance due to weather.
• ELD +5.00% technical breakout.
• BRN +9.38% new release of BrainChip studio.
• BSL -2.59% S&P rating update.
• BHP -0.70% pulls out of World Coal Association
• RFG +10.71% bottom feeders buying.
• CGC +4.21% smashed avocados back on menu.
• QUB +2.30% braces for four-day strike in Victoria.
• AGL -1.75% under pressure on Liddell.
• FND -7.69% extension of offer period.
• IMF -5.30% investment updates.
• TAW -trading halt- to merge with Alliance (listed in Singapore) and raise funds.
• Speculative stock of the day: BMZ +% after raising $500k to buy a lithium project in the Congo. Big volume.
• Biggest risers –WTC, ELD, MSB, CGC, BWX and IRE.
• Biggest fallers – BLA, GNE, SKT, NVT, SIG and HVN.

TODAY

• Bapcor (BAP) –0.18% Divested non-core asset, TBS Group, for NZ$35m to be completed mid-April 2018.
• Blue Sky Alternative Investments (BLA) -33.65% the company has announced it is cancelling its SPP at 1150c. Finally, some good news for shareholders. The institutions and professional investors though not so lucky with the $100m placement staying in place. Further announcement s not so good and rebuttal from both sides causes huge sell down.
• Wattle Health (WHA) +4.81% The company has signed a term sheet with International Supplies and Distribution Company (ISDC) for the supply of conventional cow infant formula. The deal means for the first 18 months ISDC are committed to buying a minimum of 1,500,000 units. For the following 12 months a further 1,500,000 and thereafter a further 2,200,000. ISDC have also provided a bank guarantee of 25% of the production cost. No news on the CFDA licencing but expecting good news in the ‘not too distant future’.
• Mineral Resources (MIN) – Voluntary trading halt pending company announcement. Talk of a bid for AGO also suspended.
• Scentre Group (SCG) +0.77% announced on-market security buy-back program of up to $700m. The buy-back is active management of capital structure and will not hinder the group’s ability to fund developments in the pipeline.
• Medical Developments International (MVP) +1.28% Granted sale of its Penthrox product in Germany, one of the groups most important markets, and one of the largest opioid pain relief consuming countries in Europe. Penthrox is a non-opioid alternative for rapid pain relief treatment.
• Silver Chef Group (SIV) -1.32% Announced the suspension of its dividend reinvestment plan for the dividend payable on 20 April 2018.
• Murray Goulburn (MGC) -0.52% Shareholders have voted in favour of the takeover by Canadian dairy giant Saputo.
• Carlyle, the US private equity group, is paying $1bn to buy Accolade Wines, the largest producer of Australian wines including popular brands such as Hardy’s and Houghton.

ECONOMIC NEWS

• AIG Australia Performance of Services Index came in at 56.9 for March, up 5% mom. Continuing the general uptrend since October.
• Trade numbers out today: In trend terms, the balance on goods and services was a surplus of $262m in February 2018, an increase of $62m on the surplus in January 2018.
• In seasonally adjusted terms, the balance on goods and services was a surplus of $825m in February 2018, a decrease of $127m on the surplus in January 2018.

BOND MARKET UPDATE

 

ASIAN MARKETS NEWS

• China and HK closed today for holidays.

EUROPE AND US MORNING HEADLINES

• Facebook has now said that up to 87m users may be breached in the data scandal.
• China’s ambassador met US secretary of state over trade tariffs. It’s a start. Soyabean volatility has jumped to its highest level in 15 months on China tariff moves.
• Meanwhile the cow has jumped over the moon. Well bounced at least in the US following tariffs.

• More than a million British Facebook users could have had their personal data accessed by Cambridge Analytical. Not looking good for Facebook with increased regulation and even talk of ‘The Zuck’ stepping aside. Australian Privacy Commission opens an investigation into FB too.

And finally….just a thought that whoever is doing Investor relations for Blue Sky should be well and truly sacked!!!

Fine exercise in damage control….NOT!

Sorry I digress..here is thejoke…I know its all you want…

Arnold answered the phone. It was his boss, Alex.

“How are things going at the office?” Alex asked.

“Going great, boss,” Arnold said enthusiastically. “It’s been hectic, for sure, but the crew is on top of everything.”

“Good to hear,” Alex said. “Hey Arnold, can you do me a favor?”

“Anything you need, boss,” Arnold replied. “How can I help you?”

“Can you pick up the pace a little?” Alex said. “I’m in the threesome right behind you.”

 

8 words with 2 meanings…

 

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n
Female… Any part under a car’s hood.
Male……. The strap fastener on a woman’s bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female… Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.
Male……. Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni- kay-shon) n.
Female… The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner.
Male…… Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko- mit-ment) n.
Female… A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male……. Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter- tayn-ment) n.
Female… A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male……. Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female… An embarrassing by-product of indigestion.
Male….. A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female… The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male…… Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female… A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male…… A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

 

And finally…really finally…

I called an old school friend and asked what was he doing.

He replied that he was working on “Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, glass, aluminium, and steel, all under a constrained environment.”

I was impressed.

On further inquiring, I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water … under his wife’s supervision.

 

Have a great evening

Clarence

XXXX