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Morning sports fans,

I must admit I am a little puzzled. Last night the US economy printed at 3.5%,their unemployment rate is now around 5.9%,asset prices are booming, stocks and homes and inflation is non- existent yet they still have interest rates on emergency settings!!! Really, where’s the emergency guys? Now I know the US is prone to panic and knee jerk reactions., I am thinking Ebola here, but really it can only be a matter of time before rates are returned to normality. The only thing stopping it is the massive dummy spit that the equity and bond markets will have…it will dwarf anything that our Russ or McEnroe ever produced…so will Yellen (not screamin) have the kahunas to push up rates…I think she will and do so sooner rather than later..I am going for March…

dummy spit

One thing is for sure the US dollar will rise as rates go up..their economy is better than ours and our rates are 2.5%…something is wrong here…

Last night in the US the market broke again and only the futures remained..once again though the algo trading systems took over and read a two week old headline about the Japanese Pension fund increasing its equity rating and gave the S&P futures a mighty push…go HAL!!

HALquotes.004-e1363830156673

Nearly got to say the words…another record high on the Dow!!Next week then…

thanks

And so to our market..expect a modest rise again today as we head towards 5500…it has been one way traffic since 13th October…hard to believe that we were 5155 then and here we are at 5500…volatility is back in a vengeance..of course if you have been away this Rocktober then you may not have noticed!!My bank index is now 183…who said crime doesn’t pay!!More good results and AGM comments will help as we push forever higher..if only the government could get their act together..Joe you have to go!!

Idea of the Day-MQG is back and on track-Worldwide equity activity stoking the fires

And they are back…the Millionaires factory announced their profit numbers today…their Capital advisory business made $150m!!!Up 49%…lots of deal around and lots of lovely loot for all…Dividend up 30%..and made nearly 700 m for the half…now pre GFC they didn’t make this much from memory and the shares went to $100…now I am not suggesting they get that high but they do look a tad cheap to me…would expect to see mid 60s for sure….must declare I worked for them for 7 years and they are smart guys so happy to back them…

Is gold ever going to go up again? Looks unlikely!!

We get to hear what the allocation for Medibank is? Should be good for a laugh…may just get a Kinder Surpise!!

Things to make me go mmmmmm!!!

I went to our disruptive technology lunch yesterday …once again great presentations from companies that are changing the way we do things..a remote water level sensor system for farm management, social gaming for small and large venues and a very impressive technology to bring power and data to anywhere you want..these lunches are fast becoming the place to be for great new ideas…interested? Let me know. Very impressed with the presentation from www.mainlinepower.com on power sockets and data wherever you want it…

One of my great friends yesterday suggested that for new readers it was hard to decipher my pet names for people and things…thinking of doing a glossary!!!Anyway the main ones are:

Zombieland-Europe

Super Mario-Mario Draghi Chief Teller at the ECB

Yellen (not screamin)-Janet Yellen

FOMO-Fear of missing out

BTFATH-Buy the f***ing all time high

Christine Lagarde looks like a muppet so plenty of picture opportunities there

Old Lady of Thread Street-Bank of England

Mark “Circus ‘Carney Head of said bank.

RasPutin-Vlad the Impaler Putin

My “Bank Index”-Just add up the share prices of the big four-currently 183..topped out at 187.

‘Fear Index’-VIX in the US which is a measure of what people pay for hedging in the US option market..lows are 12 highs are 88 in GFC!!the higher it is the more scared people are!

And loads more references to popular culture..hope you get the idea!!

US 3Q GDP printed at 3.5% and faster than estimates at 3%. The better growth outcome was boosted by government and defence spending.

Bank of China Ltd., the nation’s fourth-largest lender, reported its weakest quarterly profit growth in two years after doubling the amount of money it set aside for bad loans.

AMP is snapping up a 20 per cent stake in China’s largest pension group, China Life Pension Company, in a $240 million deal.

Who is laughing now…Echo Entertainment is raking in the dosh from its’ nearly refurbished Sydney Casino meanwhile poor old Jamie is struggling a little in Macau as the Chinese authorities clamp down on money laundering and corruption.

Barclays is expecting to be fined £500m for foreign exchange rate rigging.And late in the day Citigroup announced they had put away $600m for amidst a criminal probe into FX fixing…

Solar electricity is on track to be as cheap or cheaper than average electricity-bill prices in 47 U.S. states — in 2016..that does include a 30% tax credit on the set up costs..even if it was only 10% there are 36 states where it costs the same! Technology is driving costs down and efficiency up…Solar will be the world’s biggest single source of electricity by 2050, according to a recent estimate by the International Energy Agency. Currently, it’s responsible for just a fraction of one percent.

And finally…..at the risk of offending everyone I have included this gem sent to me yesterday

 

BBC News – UK Suicide Bombers go on Strike ….

Additional comments from Haisheet Mapants:

Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.

The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would  receive after his death would be cut by 25% this February from 72 to 54. A spokesman said increases in recent years in the number of suicide bombings has resulted in a shortage of virgins in the afterlife.

The suicide bombers’ union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (or B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement saying the move was unacceptable to its members and called for a strike vote. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press,

“Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don’t ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth”.   Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, Al Qaeda chief  executive Haisheet Mapants explained, “I sympathize with our workers concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands.

They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace.   Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It’s a straight choice between reducing expenditures, or laying people off. I don’t like cutting benefits but I’d hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won’t be able to blow themselves up.

Spokespersons for the union in the North East of England, Ireland, Wales and the entire Australian continent stated that the change would not hurt their membership as there are so few virgins in their areas anyway.

According to some industry sources, the recent drop in the number of suicide bombings has been attributed to the emergence of  Scottish singing star    ……… Susan Boyle.  Many Muslim Jihadists now know what a virgin looks like and have reconsidered their benefit packages.

“If we shadows have offended,

Think but this, and all is mended,

That you have but slumbered here

While these visions did appear.

And this weak and idle theme,

No more yielding but a dream,

Gentles, do not reprehend:

If you pardon, we will mend:

And, as I am an honest Puck,

If we have unearned luck

Now to ‘scape the serpent’s tongue,

We will make amends ere long;

Else the Puck a liar call;

So, good night unto you all.

Give me your hands, if we be friends,

And Robin shall restore amends.”

puck

Back on Sky Biz at 5.30pm this evening!!Phone in email or tweet..always fun…@henryj007 or@skybusiness

Have a great weekend…my green juice diet starts Wednesday!!!I think it will be harder than giving up smoking which I did 22 years ago!!!

 Clarence

XXXX

Get a Global take on things at www.ntmarkets.com

Get a Global take on things at http://www.ntmarkets.com

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