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Morning sports fans,

Solid start expected due  to Wall Street BUT in the Zombiezone,25 Banks failed the stress test..most of them from Italy…44% youth unemployment there…and the idiots think they winning the war against the GFC…1m people took to the streets there to protest …tragically Italy is not alone in the disillusionment of its youth..Spain, Greece, Portugal, France…meanwhile in Brussels the fat well paid Eurocrats are doing little to stop the waste of a generation..the losers in  this test will have nine months to find the capital required.. None of Europe’s largest banks were found lacking. No French, German or Spanish institutions were required to find more capital….so all up could be a positive I guess…

So here we are ,we have rallied around 50% off the lows and look set to push higher…bank results this week…scary figure a Aussie bank has to put aside $1.50 for every $100 of housing loan it has on its books..doesn’t seem a lot does it..record results will be the focus and the outlook statements..as usual the banks won’t make a big thing about the results as they don’t want to be seen to be gloating or become a target for additional taxes or regulations…

Idea of the Day

Medibank interest has to be in today..sorry I had to mention it one more time!!

Things to make me go mmmmm!!!

 

Chelsea 1 Manchester United 1…bugger…

 

The first new Coke product for 7 years will be launched this week…Coke Life…sweetened with Stevia…also a big shake up to be revealed with costs about to be slashed..that means jobs!!

Shanghai shares had their biggest weekly loss since March versus their Hong Kong-traded counterparts amid growing concern a trading link between the two cities will be delayed.

In one chart why traditional newspapers and TV are feeling the effects of the net on revenues..

20141023_goog

Rousseff has won re election as Brazilian President.

Dilma Rousseff: 'Do I look happy, Mr Obama?'

In Zombieland the powers that be are adjusting their GDP numbers to reflect drugs and prostitution!!!….and because the UK is doing so well…must have better hookers, they have issued a GBP1.7bn bill to David Cameron because he is doing so well…yet another reason why the UK will leave the EU…

National Australia Bank, ANZ Banking Group and Westpac Banking will report combined cash earnings over the next week of around $20 billion.

Italian retail sales fell for a fourth consecutive month in August with a decline of 0.1% reported.

And finally……cos I know this is the only thing you read..

Mick and Paddy were fishing on the Irish shoreline when Mick pulled out a cigar.

Finding he had no matches, he asked Paddy for a light.

‘Ya, sure, I tink I haff a lighter,’ Paddy replied and then reaching into his tackle Box, he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 inches long.

‘My God, man!’ exclaimed Mick, taking the huge Bic lighter in his hands. ‘Where’d yew git dat monster?’

‘Well,’ replied Paddy, ‘I got it from my Genie.’

‘You haff a fecking Genie?’ Mick asked.

‘Ya, sure. It’s right here in my tackle box,’ says Paddy.

‘Could I see him?’

Paddy opens his tackle box and sure enough, out pops the Genie.

Addressing the Genie, Mick says, ‘Hey dere! I’m a good pal of your master.

Will you grant me one wish?’

‘Yes, I will,’ says the Genie.

So Mick asks the Genie for a million bucks.

The Genie disappears back into the tackle box leaving Mick sitting there waiting for his million bucks.

Shortly, the Irish sky darkens and is filled with the sound of a million ducks flying directly overhead.

Over the roar of the one million ducks Mick yells at Paddy, ‘What the hell? I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!’

Paddy answers, ‘Ya, I forgot to tell yew dat da Genie is hard of hearing.

Do yew really tink I asked for a 10 inch Bic?’

And just a quick heads up, the day after Melbourne Cup I am starting a serious diet..it’s the Joe Cross “Fat Sick and Nearly Dead” one where all you do is drink juices for a month…I am going to do it for 25 days!!And I will be writing a blog on the experience of no solids for that time…should be fun!!!..more details to come…not doing it for any cause at all except to look hot for summer..and reboot my system…

fat sick

 

 

Have a great Monday….

Clarence

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