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Morning punters,

A quiet night overseas as a combination of May Day holidays and the impending US Non-Farm payrolls and dog regos sidelined investors.SPI up 12 points..Iron Ore stable ,gold down despite the Ukraine looking more and more red by the day…

The Commission of Audit came out yesterday which is designed to scare the pants off everyone..well, everyone except big business and the Uber rich…pretty much said what the one that Peter Costello commissioned back in 1996 said…still must have cost a lot to get that door stop out..anyway this will turn into a huge “Yes ,Prime Minister” exercise and nobody will be that courageous to implement half the things that they recommended…Tone has lifted this speech for his sales pitch.



Please let me finish. Because we must be absolutely clear about this. And I want to be quite frank with you. The plain fact of the matter is, that, at the end of the day, it is the right – nay, the duty, of the elected government, in the House of Commons, to ensure that government policy, the policies on which we were elected and for which we have a mandate, the policies, after all, for which the people voted, are the policies which, finally, when the national cake has been divided up – and, may I remind you, we as a nation don’t have unlimited wealth, you know, we can’t pay ourselves more than we’ve earned – are the policies … I’m sorry, what was the question again?


We have started May in very traditional fashion with a big sell off yesterday..ANZ failed to inspire and the Chinese PMI number ,whatever that is ,was 0.1 below expectations so the world is coming to an end!!Iron Ore stocks and banks are feeling the hate at the moment and although we should see a little bounce today it will be little..we have NAB and WBC next week so expect more underwhelming response to these…


As readers of this ramblings will no doubt be aware I have been cautious for some time and have suggested that Easter or there abouts would be a good time to be trimming the sails..still think that and as the budget approaches and then the end of year tax loss and tax deliberations it will steal enthusiasm as will Northern Hemisphere summer holidays..so have nt changed my view


Idea of the Day-MQG shoots the lights out…still think this will go higher….remember there have been $1 trillion worth of takeovers and deals announced so far this year…reckon we could see them above $60 easy..


I did suggest a few weeks ago(Email 28/4) that things could be rosier for MacBank at the moment as a combo of buoyant equity markets, massive M&A activity and fund raising will combine to give them a super dupper year.I suggested that 60 bucks was well achievable…it is based on these numbers!!!


Macquarie said annual net profit jumped 49 per cent on the previous year.Macquarie Group has flagged that 2015 profits will be similar or better than this year, as the financial services reported better than expected income of $1.27 billion for the 12 months ended March 31.


Things to make me go mmmmm!!


RIP Paul Ramsay…sad news indeed.


US jobless data last night kept the market in check… Weekly jobless claims increased to 344,000 which was higher than forecasts of 320,000 and the combined data kept markets restrained in overnight trade. Key payrolls data is scheduled for tonight.Non-Farm tonight!


British clothing chain FatFace is to list on the London Stock Exchange in a float that could value the company around £440 million and help it cut debt ahead of its expansion into North America.


Myers 3rd Quarter sales were hardly special…online doing better though but no reason to be here.


Weird news in the US after the SEC chief said the markets weren’t rigged …then two days later fines the NYSE for rigging the markets from 2008 to 2012…


It appears that a lot of fast money is piling into shipping at the moment as prices hit rock bottom and have now moved up substantially..A five-year-old supertanker now sells for $70.6 million, compared with $53.6 million a year ago, still less than half the $162 million high in 2008, according to the Baltic Exchange in London. The price of a Capesize, the largest type of dry-bulk carrier the exchange tracks, rose 63 percent in the past year to $50 million, 33 percent of the 2008 peak of $153.8 million…and it seems that a book with afictional hedge fund manager called “The Shipping Man” is partly responsible for this revival..its fiction not a how to manual guys!!


Maybe the commission of audit should have a look at these guys.. Google Australia: has reduced its tax rate by almost a tenth, with new filings revealing the company paid the Australian Taxation Office $7.1 million in the 2013 financial year, just 15 per cent of the $46.5m it reaped in pre-tax profit for the year…an effective tax rate of 15 per cent…nice work…


More capital raisings with Karoon tapping the market for $200m…Lynas also hitting the market for cash too…not a good look at these prices for either!!!



And finally……small warning of bad taste and sexual innuendo!!

Students at a local school were assigned to read 2 books, ‘Titanic’ and ‘My Life’ by Bill Clinton



One student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!

His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report.

Titanic: Cost – $29.99
Clinton : Cost – $29.99

Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
Clinton : Over 3 hours to read

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton : The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton : Bill is a bulls**t artist.

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton : Ditto for Bill

Titanic: During the ordeal, Rose’s dress gets ruined.
Clinton : Ditto for Monica.

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton : Let’s not go there.

Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewellery.
Clinton : Monica is forced to return her gifts.

Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton : Clinton doesn’t remember anything.

Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton : Monica.. Ooh, let’s not go there, either.

Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton : Bill goes home to Hillary – basically the same thing

My question is do ** make it seem less rude?

Sir Humphrey: There are four words you have to work into a proposal if you want a Minister to accept it.

Sir Frank: Quick, simple, popular, cheap. And equally there are four words to be included in a proposal if you want it thrown out.

Sir Humphrey: Complicated, lengthy, expensive, controversial. And if you want to be really sure that the Minister doesn’t accept it you must say the decision is courageous.

Bernard: And that’s worse than controversial?

Sir Humphrey: (laughs) Controversial only means this will lose you votes, courageous means this will lose you the election.


Have a great weekend on Sky TV at 5.30 for anyone who cares..Mum?Mum?Anyone?




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