Morning sports fans,

 

1. Who moved my Cheese? No one  it seems!

 

Well the bulls are well and truly back in charge..and I do mean charge…the great tablecloth trick appears to have got too many people(central bankers and traders) worried that they will not be able to remove it without breaking all the china..so they have decided just to keep it there instead..the market has had a huge dummy spit on the thought of the tablecloth going and squealed like a pig..as a result money printers around the world have soothed their frayed nerves with talk of endless free money even QE4!! ….what more does a trader want…so back on…the Yellen/Draghi/Carney/Aso Put is back…the market cannot be allowed to fall, as after all the money that these guys have spent, it’s pretty much all they have to show for it…their legacy..of course if it goes too bananas they will drag out the bubble quotes again..so range trading it is..

The VIX in the US has collapsed as fear has left the building…it has halved in the last few days back to 16…18 is the long term average…anyway would expect the Dow to hit all-time highs very soon…earnings numbers have been beating estimates…I mean why pay these analysts huge amounts of money if they never get it right? Anyway apart from things like IBM and Walmart and a few others(Coke and Maccas) everything in the garden is rosy…at least in the US…Zombieland is lost for another decade…

Yesterday we completed 6 days of rally..just …a big push at the close ensured we closed up 6 for the day…overnight futures soaring to the moon, so 5400 here we come..talked about that 50% retracement of the fall a day or so ago…my bank index is at 177 and probably will hit 180 today…high was around 187…figures coming up soon…maybe some disappointment baked in when we get there…but think of all those lovely dividend cheques!!

IDEA OF THE DAY-Medibank Private-Register your interest now..

Now listen up peeps…if you are interested in applying for any Medibank Private we will have access to this float..suspect there will be some serious scaling back but let me know ASAP if you are at all interested in applying for some and I can put you in the bid process…looks like the broker bids will close on Tuesday so not much time…

Things to make me go mmmmmm!!!

 

Today we have pin the tail on the donkey CPI numbers at 11.30am…ABS ,time to shine…

 

Mining giant BHP Billiton has lifted production nine per cent, driven by increasing iron ore, coal and petroleum output. The company’s West Australian Iron Ore joint venture lifted production 15 per cent in the three months to September, compared to a year ago, to a quarterly record of 62 million tonnes.

When my son was young he was obsessed with Marty McFly’s hoverboard in Back to the Future…I hunted the internet for one,I even tried to make one(!)   tried to tell him that it was not real…did not exist…he was devastated..he took the wheels off one of his many skateboards and couldn’t understand why it would not hover!!!  I was a father failure…still the good news …finally someone has made one..ok it’s not quite a Marty McFly’s version but a step in the right direction..it’s called the ‘Hendo’ and they are crowdfunding for this baby…now my question is, can I redeem myself now he is 18…suspect so?

I give you the Hendo!!

Still like MOC at these levels…everything else with mortgage exposure has rallied strongly except MOC…no reason why not…get in there and buy Mortimer!!

So since Fed bod Bullard opened his gob and started talking about QEIV this is what has happened…

The most shorted stocks in the US rallied 2.4% last night as the bears scrambled…

Two US food and drink titans have posted sharply lower profits for the July-to-September quarter. McDonald’s saw earnings fall 30%, while Coca-Cola’s fell 14%, with both citing lower US sales as key reasons. Maybe the US is getting healthy? Nah!@!!

Nicky Minaj? Really!

The number of companies lobbying the U.S. government on tax inversions more than doubled in the quarter ended Sept. 30, as they sought to prevent Congress and the Obama administration from imposing new restrictions.

This is scary… “nearly one out of every three American adults are on file in the FBI’s master criminal database.”

Can we stop with the Batchelor thing…seriously!

The ECB stepped in last night and bought covered Italian Bonds plus short-dated French notes from Societe Generale SA and BNP Paribas SA as well as Spanish securities from other lenders.

Rio Tinto is leaving $US4.2 billion in financing needed to move forward its troubled Oyu Tolgoi project in limbo until the miner can get greater clarity from the Mongolian government.

The Chinese numbers…..GDP for September (YoY)  was 7.3%, slightly better than forecasts at 7.2% but lower than the prior month at 7.5%.

-Retail sales for September ( YoY ) came in at 11.6% slightly lower than forecasts at 11.7% and also  lower than the 11.9% reading in August.

-Industrial Production was  8% ( YoY) in contrast to expectations of 7.5% and a prior reading of 6.9%.

And finally…..

 

A  HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE  INTERRUPTS,

 

“HONEY,COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE  HALLWAY?

IT’S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW.”

 

HE LOOKS AT  HER AND SAYS ANGRILY, “FIX THE LIGHTS NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I  HAVE ENERGEX WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON’T THINK  SO”.

 

FINE,

 

THEN THE WIFE ASKS, “WELL THEN, COULD YOU  FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? IT WON’T CLOSE RIGHT”

 

TO WHICH HE  REPLIED, “FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE  WESTINGHOUSE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON’T THINK  SO”

 

FINE, SHE SAYS “THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE  STEPS

TO THE FRONT DOOR? THEY ARE ABOUT TO BREAK”.

“I’M  NOT A CARPENTER AND I DON’T WANT TO FIX STEPS

HE SAYS, DOES IT  LOOK LIKE I HAVE BUNNINGS WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON’T  THINK SO

I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU.

I’M GOING TO THE  PUB!!!!”

 

SO HE GOES TO THE PUB AND DRINKS FOR A COUPLE OF  HOURS……………………………

 

HE STARTS TO FEEL  GUILTY ABOUT HOW HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES TO GO  HOME

 

AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES THAT THE STEPS  ARE ALREADY FIXED.

 

AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE , HE SEES  THE HALL LIGHT IS WORKING

AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE  NOTICES THE FRIDGE  DOOR IS FIXED.

 

HONEY, HE ASKS, “HOW’D ALL THIS GET FIXED?”

SHE SAID, WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT OUTSIDE AND  CRIED

 

JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG,  AND I TOLD HIM.

 

HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND ALL  I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A  CAKE.

 

HE SAID, SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU  BAKE?

 

SHE REPLIED, “HELLOOOOO..

DO YOU SEE SARA LEE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?

I  DON’T THINK SO!”

 

Have a great day

Clarence

XXXX