Morning sports fans,

Few big things around this morning…firstly the Zombie’s cut their interest rates…sure it will make a difference…25bps off will help the 60% unemployed youth no end..secondly the US had some better economic numbers on the jobs front and rallied 130 and then domestically we have had WBC and my old home MQG reporting this morning. I think both will be well received by the market. WBC have declared a special dividend which isn’t as good as ANZ’s rise in Divs as it is a one off but welcome nevertheless and will help keep the stock at these bubble levels..MQG also reported and beat estimates …plus we also saw a rise in Oil Gold and Copper..what’s not to like…expect a strong day ahead of the Non-Farm Payrolls numbers in the US tonight which may be better than expected and kick the US market even higher..RBA meeting next week..hard to see them cutting myself but stranger things have happened…

Does seem at the moment though the World is relying on US to save us…China Slowing, Zombie, well they are Zombies aren’t they and we are slowing too…but US is doing ok and that the big driver plus of course all the cheap money sloshing around the system looking for a home…YIELD IS KING at the moment and likely to stay that way!

I reckon we could see a reversal of yesterday’s fall with such good numbers from the two banks…TLS just wanna fun..well done the Future Fund..sold them under 3.00!!

Idea of the Day

Same old theme..Banks and yield stocks over resources…getting to sound like a broken record but there you go..you know it makes sense Rodney!!

Things that make me go all TGIF….

1.WBC’s Gail Kelly said that things were still challenging….yeah right so how come you made a record profit of $3.5bn…maybe it’s a message to the Gillard Government not to launch a super tax on banks!!!Would have raised more than on the miners though!!!Still time Wayne, still time!!

2.Record low bond rates in many Zombie countries as the crisis has well and truly passed and free money from around the World floods into credit and equity markets..Rwandan three year bonds yield 6%…seems about right!!!

3.Lloyd Blankchequestein has told us what keeps him awake at night, apart from what to tell Obama and Ben what to do is the fear of rising interest rates..he has told media that he fears it is like 1994 and that a rise in interest rates is imminent and being completely discounted by the market…this guy runs the World so he should know what he is talking about and worth listening too.

4.Macquarie have done well and have beat a number of analysts over the head this morning… Macquarie has handed down full-year profits of $851 million and raised its dividend to $1.25 a share, as it benefited from the global market recovery and cost cutting.The investment bank today beat market expectation, with full year cash earnings rising 17 per cent, helped by a sharp rise in second half profits.

5.APN News & Media: says it will sell assets and divest joint ventures to pay down debt, as new chairman Peter Cosgrove denies the company is now controlled by its largest shareholder, Dublin-based Independent News & Media. “I’d prefer to sell none of them, but I do think we have too many joint ventures, so I’d like to tidy that up a little bit, but again that’s a matter for the CEO,” Mr Cosgrove said yesterday.

6.Billabong almost every deadline associated with Billabong International has been missed so no one is not betting the house on a sale by the middle of next week. Indeed, the longer it goes on, the less likely it is that suitor Sycamore Partners will formalise its 60¢ a share proposal for the surfwear retailer. Sycamore, which is bidding alongside Billabong’s former chief of its Americas division Paul Naude, had already lowered its offer from the initial $1.10 proposal in December….now if I was the bidder I would just wander off and wait for the administartors to be appointed and buy the good stuff then..but that’s me!

7.Yet another infrastructure project has been ditched this morning with news that the Newcastle Coal Loader project has bitten the dust…and in another blow to the Coasties,a court has ruled against owners letting their homes out for short term rentals…not going to help house prices in Terrigal and Avoca and will kill Tourism if it isn’t changed…

8.Chelsea win 3-1 to go through to the Europa Cup final..yay!!!

9.A bloke in the UK has been sentenced to ten years in jail for selling bomb detectors that didn’t work…you would have thought that people would have noticed they didn’t work pretty quickly but he took $75m before he was rumbled…they were based on a golf ball finder..now I know they do not work!!! He added  Colour-coded “sensor cards” – orange for explosives, blue for drugs and red for humans – these were slotted into the machines to make them “work”.

10.Cracks appear in the Iron Ore price as it falls 5 bucks to under 130…talked about this the other day…expect this will continue ..but the Iron Ore stocks have already factored in lower prices so may be in the price to some extent.

And finally………..

A father walks into a restaurant with his young son..

He gives the young boy three 10 cents coins to play with to keep him occupied.

Suddenly, the boy starts choking and going blue in the face….

The father realises the boy has swallowed the coins and starts slapping him on the back..

The boy coughs up 2 of the 10 cent pieces but is still choking.

Looking at his son, the father starts panicking, shouting for help.

A well dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee.

At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper, places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way unhurriedly across the restaurant.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully pulls down his pants, takes hold of the boy’s’ testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.. tighter and tighter !!!

After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last of the coins, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.

Releasing the boy’s testicles, the woman hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, “I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor? ”

‘No,’ the woman replied.

I’m with the ATO..’

 

Have a great weekend

Clarence

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