Morning all,

Here a quick maths quiz….if you have ten dollars and I take away one…what do you have now?…A Cypriot bank Account!…

As the fallout from the Cyprus deposit disaster rumbles around the World, things weren’t quite as bad as we supposed yesterday so expect a small rebound. However confidence has taken a hit and the pullback has probably started. Still feel that 4950 is possible but the money is waiting on the side lines. Worrying yesterday’s fall was accompanied by huge volume of nearly 7bn…biggest for a long time I think…the SPI was up 35 points so expect the shorts to be squeezed and bargain hunters around. Banks will be sort after..as will other defensives like WOW and WES

Good to see the Cypriot Government now backing down on small deposits with those Russians with lots of money now looking to pay the bulk of the bailout, so when this bloke comes looking for the ECB officials that dreamt up this genius plan, watch out boys!

 

Boris the Blade from Snatch!

 

Still all these Zombieland problems have helped the price of Gold push up nicely. Not sure it will last too long so enjoy it while it lasts.

Idea of the Day :BUY TEN At 35c

As a new man takes the helm of TEN the media landscape is shaping up as an interesting battlefield in the new six months. With good gearing to the prosperity of our island home and being so bombed out there are a number of good opportunities emerging…I have talked about FXJ TEN and APN in the past and remain a fan of all…but FXJ has had a bigish move whereas I think TEN has potential to smash 40 cents and hit 45 in the next few months…and here’s an idea for the new bloke..we have 7 Mate which is aimed at blokes how about repositioning TEN as a more feminine station ..50% audience share…anyway however he repositions the channel the best way to work out whether it is succeeding is by watching the odd prime time show and see what the quality of ads are like…cars and cosmetics, banks and Woolies good…eharmony, Carpet Court and Dodo not so good!! Easy really!

Things to make me go hmmmm!

1.To put in perspective Cyrpus is the same size economically as Tasmania!!

2.Confidence among U.S. homebuilders unexpectedly fell for a second month in March, a sign the residential real-estate market will take time to strengthen. The National Association of Home Builders/Wells Fargo index of builder confidence dropped by 2 points to 44 this month, due to a decrease in the measure of current sales.

3.Good to see two high profile bears of the US market reviewing their forecasts for the S&P for year end. Both Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley gurus are back on board with the bull market after being bearish for 2012!Had such a good call last year they thought they would wait until an all-time high before upgrading!

4.In Aurizon, the market yesterday welcomed the Queensland government’s $806 million sell-down of its stake in Aurizon Holdings, with analysts agreeing it helped lessen uncertainty created by the “overhang” of stock and was likely to benefit shareholders in the long term.

5.George Jones and the team at Sundance Resources will be in China later this week to meet with suitor Hanlong Mining and the new head honchos at China’s National Development and Reform Commission. Street Talk understands expectations are growing that Hanlong won’t be able to produce a credit-approved term sheet for the $1.3 billion takeover by the March 26 deadline and it’s likely the iron ore explorer will again be asked to extend. Meanwhile, Sundance’s crashing share price has increased concerns Hanlong could again try to wriggle out of the 45¢ offer price.

6.The Cypriot Parliament is now not sitting til Thursday as they try to sort this mess out. Long time to be out of your money. And in one media report the Cypriot PM is quoted as saying to Rehn and Brok: “When I warned you that there would not be a parliamentary majority to pass the agreement, you didn’t want to listen. Give my regards to Mrs Merkel.” Send round Boris!!

7.And just as the disastrous Deauville accord in 2010 which caused the market to seize on Ireland and Portugal after Greek bailout, the latest dopey decision has a lot to do with German domestic politics and not to be seen to be bailing out Russian Mob Money! Don’t forget that Moaning Mertle is up for re-election in September.

8.Looks like Senator Conjobs new media laws will vanish up his own ego as the independents are not going to green light this one..could be the death nail for Julia …while over in the UK the Conservative Government has now agreed with the two other parties on major press reforms that are making the Murdoch papers squeal like a phone hacker on helium! A new Royal Commissioner will be set up with wide ranging powers and the ability to levy huge fines..and they think they have issues in Australia.

9.And in sad news Mr Peacock from ‘Are you being served?’ has died aged 92…not sure if young Mr Grace is still alive either!

10.And making life trickier for the new Chinese leadership, new home prices rose in 66 of China’s 70 major cities in February, Keeping property prices in check has been a key agenda for Beijing, not least due to fears of asset bubbles.

And finally……from one of my clients, a great lesson in economics!

The world economy explained with two cows

SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM

You have 2 cows

The State takes both and gives you some milk

FASCIST

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and sells you some milk.

BUREAUCRATISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk

away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.

VENTURE CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of

credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity

swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back,

with a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a

Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells

the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one

more.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.

Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died.

A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want

three cows

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you do not know where they are.

You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you.

You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You have 300 people milking them.

You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.

You tell them that you have none.

Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your

country.

You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Business seems pretty good.

You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION

You have two cows.

The one on the left looks very attractive.

A GREEK CORPORATION

You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks.

You eat both of them.

The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the

IMF.

The IMF loans you two cows.

You eat both of them.

The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk.

You are out getting a haircut.

Have a good day

 

Clarence

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